Wives and Kisses
by S2 Intelligence
Summary: Jonathan not being back yet reminds Lupus of Jonathan and Flavia in a very unusual situation. FlaccusFlavia, NubiaAristo, implied FlaviaJonathan & JonathanPulchra.Drabble. spoilers for book 11&17. not very good, looks rushed bat attempt at humor, sorry


_Okay, so, I absolutely LOVE the Roman Mysteries series and I have just completed all seventeen books *dances* and this idea came to me the other day. Okay, so I know I haven't wrote _that_many fanfictions, and the only chaptered one I made I discontinued but those were all Naruto stories so I thought to make one of my favorite book series._

_Please, I hope you enjoy this and I will try my best to write more Roman Mysteries if any ideas pop up, but it would mostly be oneshots._

_I'll be rating this as humor and romance but I don't think it's that funny at all._

_Please, I'm begging you, if anyone reads this, please review because I need to know that there are people who still are interested in this awesome series. Please tell me if there are any inconsistencies or typos._

_WARNING: spoilers for those who haven't read The Sirens of Surrentum and The Man from Pomegranate Street._

_Thanks for clicking at my story!_

_Edit 12/18/13: Wow, I know its been years. Went back to this, didn't like the formatting, just fixed it a bit. Plot is still the same, just a few added lines and punctuations. Don't worry...I was just thirteen when I wrote this...I think. =)_

THIS TEXT IS LUPUS' WRITING

**DISCLAIMER; I do not own the Roman Mysteries. It belongs to Caroline Lawrence and Orion Books. This story is purely fan-made.**

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><p>Nubia and Lupus sat heavily on the ground in one of their courtyards. It was a late October afternoon and the two friends, along with Nubia's husband and their former tutor, Aristo, had been teaching the children to play different instruments. Nubia taught the girls how to play the flute, Aristo taught the older boys how to tune a lyre while Lupus taught the younger ones to tap beats on upturned bowls.<p>

Since Flavia and her _new _husband, Jason (who was really Flaccus) had gone out to the market, her father, Marcus, was out sailing with his wife Diana, and Jonathan was seeing his patients while looking for signs of his long-lost nephew, only Lupus, Nubia and her husband Aristo was left to watch the children. None of children were their own though, they were still the remaining children that they rescued three years before.

They enjoyed what they did, no question to that, but with only three of them handling it, well, it was quite tiring. Aristo had gone to get them something to drink. While waiting for him, the two friends watched the water in the fountain as it traveled from the center high top until it splashed back to the ground. They were the silent half of the four friends and the two enjoyed company in silence.

Presently, Aristo returned with a tray of mint tea.

"It's getting late. Shouldn't Jonathan be back by now?" he asked while trying to balance the tray.

"Maybe there are many patients that needs to see him." Nubia replied.

Lupus grunted and started walking around with the back of his tunic covering his bowed head while his eyes shifted from left to right.

Aristo nodded "Yes, he could be taking one of his walks again while searching for Popo."

Lupus was writing on his wax tablet with a sly look and showed it to them when he was done.

It read:

LOOKING FOR A WIFE?

"Lupus!" Nubia exclaimed "Why would Jonathan be looking for a wife?"

"Who's looking for a wife?" said a deep voice from the doorway. They looked up to see Flaccus and Flavia standing above them, carrying baskets filled with what they had bought.

"Lupus thinks Jonathan is looking for a wife." Aristo explained as he handed them each a steaming cup.

"Lupus! Why would Jonathan be looking for a wife?" Flavia exclaimed.

"That's what I said." Nubia replied.

Lupus pointed two fingers towards Aristo and Nubia, then to Flavia and Flaccus before raising his eyebrows.

"Because _were_ married?" The four exclaimed. Lupus nodded. Flavia rolled her eyes and Nubia giggled behind her hand before both girls kissed their respective husbands. Lupus made a noise as if he was throwing up.

"Lupus, you are thirteen years old now. In the eyes of God, you are a man." Nubia said.

"Which also means you can start looking for a wife too." Flavia added. Flaccus put his arm around Lupus' shoulder in a brotherly manner.

"And you better start looking for one fast, one that's a good kisser," he moved towards Flavia "Like my wife here." he took her by the waist and kissed her gently on the lips. Lupus looked disgust before he toppled over, laughing hysterically.

"What's so funny?" Aristo asked.

Lupus was still laughing when he brought out his wax tablet and wrote with a shaky hand. When he was done he handed it to them then started laughing again.

Flavia got the wax tablet and opened it for all to see:

IS THAT WHY JONATHAN AGREED TO KISS YOU BEFORE?

"Jonathan kissed you?" Flaccus shouted. He was so upset that none of them heard the footsteps approaching them.

"Are you referring to Flavia or to Nubia? I don't count Lupus or Aristo…or you." said a tired but amused voice. They turned to see Jonathan with his medical bag over his shoulder and a hood over his head.

"Jonathan!" Flavia exclaimed before turning to Flaccus who was starting to redden.

"You kissed my wife?" he said bluntly. They had never heard Flaccus in that tone of voice.

Jonathan raised an eyebrow. "She wasn't your wife back then and both of you still hated each other at the time. Besides - "he had a twinkle in his eye " - she had asked me to do so."

Lupus started laughing again while Flavia seemed to have grown smaller.

"You asked _him_?" Flaccus turned to Flavia. His voice was no longer harsh but more suspicious. "When was this anyway?"

"Oh, a long time ago..." Flavia began while looking at the ceiling "...it was a few days before Pulchra invited us to Villa Limona."

"Why did you ask him to kiss you?"

"Um well…"

"Flavia needed practice." Nubia answered "Pulchra said in her letter that there would be lots of highborn young men there." Flaccus looked pleased with himself.

"Ah, so I was on your mind?" he said looking at Flavia.

"Well, maybe…" they kissed again. Lupus gave the same reaction. Flavia pulled away from Flaccus and smiled sweetly.

"To be honest, you weren't really a good kisser back then…" Jonathan said coolly.

"Oh shut up, Jonathan." Flavia replied without taking her eyes of Flaccus.

"Pulchra was much better though."

"You kissed Pulchra?"

"She kissed me." Flavia whirled around to face him, and the rest stared at the young doctor.

"WHAT? WHEN?"

Jonathan waved his hand dismissively. "Oh a few days after, during the beach banquet."

Lupus showed them his wax tablet again:

SO JONATHAN HAS BEEN KISSED BY TWO MARRIED WOMEN?

**-FINIS-**


End file.
